Your spouse is your best friend and often the person with whom you have spent the majority of your adult life.
For Elaine Smith (left), the death of her beloved husband, was the trigger for feelings of loneliness she had never expected.
“We married when I was 40 and our relationship was very strong, but I had been alone and happy before and I thought that would be what I would return to,” she said.
“But that wasn’t the case because of that extreme feeling of loss and desolation.
“Loneliness feels like a sense of despair – one loses hope and it’s hard to reach out.”
Elaine decided to enter Bolton Clarke’s vertical village Europa on Alma in Melbourne’s St Kilda. Along with fellow Denise (right), 85, they say the community at Europa on Alma has played a vital role in helping them regain connection after life transitions.
For Denise the move from her home at Inverloch was a trigger.
“It’s like a sadness – it’s feeling a little bit scared and unsure of oneself,” she said.
“I had felt it previously when I’d lost my husband – I didn’t want anyone to know I was lonely because I didn’t want to be a burden on other people. When I went out I felt like everybody had their own partner except me – it’s a very foolish way to think.
“I found keeping my connections was important. But moving to a retirement village was one of the best decisions I have ever made – you just pop downstairs and you don’t have to be involved with people, but somehow there’s always someone there.”
Elaine says she followed friends into the Europa on Alma and has not looked back.
Europa on Alma is full of life and new friendships among like-minded people
“Loneliness is not something I experience now and that is because of my experience at Europa – community is important and the way I have experienced it since coming here has been amazing for me.”
New research reveals one in three Australians from all walks of life feel lonely, and one in four experience persistent loneliness. For people over 65 about 46% report feeling lonely sometimes.
Significant life changes and changes in circumstances, such as a relationship breakdown, losing a loved one, financial hardship and health conditions are risk factors for persistent loneliness.
Bolton Clarke Head of Research, Professor Judy Lowthian, said while everybody experiences transitions during their lives, they tend to increase and have a greater impact as people age.
“Transitions can be expected, for example retiring or becoming a grandparent, or unexpected such as reduced physical or cognitive ability due to illness, or an accident,” Professor Lowthian said.
“All these changes can affect how people see themselves, their relationships and their sense of belonging.”